Have you said all you need to say…
to that person who may be waiting for or needing more from you? I recently used
gmail to respond to an email I had received. I am more comfortable using
Outlook, but typically competent to use gmail. On this occasion, however, I
must have typed something at the wrong time because, before I was ready, I saw
that my message had been sent. “Wait… I didn’t want that sent. Why did gmail do
that?” I thought. Obviously I mistakenly somehow told it to, but I wasn’t
really ready. My message was incomplete, but it went anyway. There was no harm
done, though I can envision circumstances where incomplete information – a partial
email - could be less than desirable.
My communication skills can always
be improved. What I think I have said is not always what is heard, or
understood from what I have written. And I fail frequently on the listening end
of the process. I know there are some situations in life where too many words
can get in the way. But there are also occasions in relationships where there
is unfinished business. For example, how many conversations fall short of
containing two very necessary short words: “I’m sorry.”? Or the words “I was
wrong.”… or “Please forgive me.”? Yet those may be the very words our loved one
is waiting to hear, and we haven’t said all we need to say. “I forgive you”… “I
love you”… “I’m responsible”… “It was my fault”… Can you think of others?
We sometimes tell ourselves we don’t need to say “it”
– whatever “it” is. We may stubbornly just not want to. We may assume s/he
already knows. We may be afraid it won’t be received well. It is a good thing
to overcome obstacles like these, by asking ourselves, “Is there anything I
need to say today to my wife, husband, children, parents…?” This is a good question
to ask ourselves regularly. Reminders are helpful. In his acceptance speech for
winning best supporting actor at the Academy Awards, J.K. Simmons said the
following: “And if I may, call your mom, everybody. I’ve told
this [to], like, a billion people, or so. Call your mom, call your dad. If you’re lucky enough
to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call ‘em. Don’t text. Don’t
email. Call them on the phone. Tell ‘em you love ‘em, and thank them, and
listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom
and Dad.” I wonder how many people were blessed by that reminder and how many
moms and dads had their (next) day brightened.
I understand that there are many things in life that
are better off unsaid. James tells us that the tongue is an out-of-control fire
and that it can do great damage. We do well to beware of this and to guard our
tongues. But the tongue is a great tool for blessing, too. So… if you have more
you can say today that can bless another, don’t leave it unsaid. Break through
whatever might be holding you back – pride, fear, anger – and go for it. Speak
with sincerity and from the heart. Such words will bring joy and encouragement
to the hearer.
Ephesians 4:29
(NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but
only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it
may benefit those who listen.
Proverbs 12:25 (NIV) An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a
kind word cheers him up.
Isaiah 50:4 (NIV) The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word
that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to
listen like one being taught.
Proverbs 25:11 (NIV) A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold
in settings of silver.
PRAYER: Father, fill my mouth with words that bless
and build up, and may I use them freely and be generous in expressing them.
Keep me from unfinished business. In Christ’s name, AMEN.”
Jesus
Christ is Lord!
Scott
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