It
always gets me into trouble. Whenever I hear someone mispronouncing a word or
using a wrong version of it… I have this strong urge to correct them. Often I
can avoid it in public (unless it is in a debate) because I don’t want to
embarrass the person misspeaking. But the urge is still there. And in everyday
conversation, I often cannot resist. I have a relative who comes to visit us
once in a while. When we are deciding what to do, one possibility that might
come up is going to Sand Beach. He insists, however, on referring to it as
“Sandy” Beach, even after I’ve pronounced it correctly many times. Rather than
correcting him, I’ll reference it more with careful diction in the course of
the conversation and emphasize the word sand when I use it. It does
no good, however, and then I have to decide whether my annoyance is more
important than his incorrectness.
When things like this happen, it’s like I have two voices
inside me: one is telling me, “Scott, look, it doesn’t really matter. Just let
it go. It’s no big deal. You might embarrass this person, or make them feel
bad. Chill out!” The other voice keeps telling me, “You’ll be doing them a
favor… actually helping them and keeping others from being confused.” What the
second voice says, however, usually has more to do with being right than with
helping anybody. After I “listen” for a while to these voices, I decide which
to follow. Sometimes it is, “Okay, I won’t say anything” and I move on. At
other times it is, “Okay, I won’t say anything.” – but the urge does not go
away and I keep wanting to say something. And at other times, still, it is, “I
can’t help it, I have to say
something.” But when I do, I almost always regret it. I know this all sounds
trivial and, for the most part, it is. It’s just an example of how the flesh
always wants to take over in everyday situations.
In pastoral ministry I have to speak quite a bit, and I
misspeak often. When preaching, I can tell I’ve said something not quite right when
people will look funny or murmur a little among themselves. Often I have no
idea that I used a wrong word or a wrong form of a word. I may even have to ask.
If it is a serious enough breach of speech (such as the opposite of what I really
want to say or the wrong name) someone will speak up and correct me. Actually,
I am very thankful when people help me out like this. I want to be very sure
that people get the right message. Giving a wrong name or a wrong biblical
concept needs that kind of correction. For the most part, though, people just
tolerate my out-of-place words and Joanne may ask me later in the day, “Did you
mean to say…?” or “Did you know you said…?” I am usually clueless… sometimes
mortified… but always reminded how the grace afforded to me by others is such a
blessing. Knowing the difference between when to speak and when not to speak is
a piece of wisdom to be treasured. And grace, I think, is almost always the best
choice.
I may be the only person who goes through stuff like
this, but deep in my heart I don’t think so. You also may be in need of seeing
the “grace choice” in everyday situations and conversations. Are you often
challenged by the urge to be right at the risk of hurting another person? If
you are like me, you need more grace from the Lord to see and to choose the way
of grace with others. May the Lord help us to see this way, and may He guide us
by His Spirit to speak to and to interact with others with the gentleness of
Christ. AMEN.
Colossians 4:6 (NIV) – “Let your
conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you
may know how to answer everyone.”
Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) – “Instead, speaking
the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body
of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) – “Do not let any
unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for
building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who
listen.”
PRAYER: Father, guide me to not have to worry about
being right in matters of no consequence. Let me be gentle and full of grace.
Help me to see and to experience such “small” things as important ways to be
like Jesus and to please you. Thanks. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
Jesus
Christ is Lord!
Scott
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