Taking for Granted

      A few days ago I was thinking about the expression “to take for granted”. Here are some explanations of that phrase by several different persons that I found:

“When you take someone for granted, it basically means that you know that you have them and feel like they will always be with you and belong to you. You accept it like it's the only way for them, to stay with you - no real sense of appreciation.”

“It means they just expect stuff from you that maybe you do not even expect from yourself. They think you guys are going to do something, but you never even wanted to do it.”

“It means that your using them for your own selfish needs and don't do the same back... like when you know someone would do something for you so you call them and get them to do it... you taking them for granted: pretty much the relationship is not equal.”

“Taking someone for granted is not appreciating or maybe even noticing the things that person does for you, or how they positively benefit your life.”
      “And simply assuming that person will continue to do those things, without any reciprocation or thanks from you.”

“When someone doesn't appreciate something that they need like they should, they're taking it for granted. It's an assumption on their part that it will be there and continue to be there without any consequence.”

“It means having something, or someone, and not really knowing how good it is. You just kind of ignore the fact that you have it, even though it would be important to you if you lost it.”

Most of these are on track with the way dictionaries handle the expression:

“…to expect someone or something to be always available to serve in some way without thanks or recognition; to value someone or something too lightly.”

      “… to not show that you are grateful to someone for helping you or that you are happy they are with you, often because they have helped you or been with you so often.”

      “… to fail to appreciate someone. When your own children are growing up, you tend to take them for granted, and then, suddenly, they are grown up. Politicians seem to take voters for granted, except when they face a serious challenge. Usage notes: usually said about someone who is not appreciated because you think they will always be available.”

      “… To give little attention to or to underestimate the value of, to fail to appreciate. Usually the epiphany of having taking something for granted comes after it is already gone.”

“… To expect someone or something to be always available to serve in some way without thanks or recognition; to value someone or something too lightly.”

            “Taking for granted” goes in one of two directions. It can involve things or it can involve persons. My own life is full of things that I take for granted. Visits to countries where the things I enjoy every day are rare or uncommon or absent… remind me of how much I take for granted things like plumbing (hot running water, clean water), electricity (the switch always works), technology,… virtually any machine or object that works for me (car, school bus, telephone, refrigerator, etc.). It is when they don’t work – or don’t work right – that I realize their value, and that in the end, that nothing lasts forever.

            It’s the second direction that I need to be more careful to give attention to. No one I know likes to be taken for granted. To be unappreciated hurts our feelings. To be the object of presumption makes one feel used. Presumption is when I assume that something is “so” in our relationship, when it isn’t “so”. Relationships are a place where taking for granted is most dangerous. And the longer or closer the relationship is, the more dangerous taking for granted is. Most of us take a lot for granted in our families. It’s quite common. Kids especially do it with their parents. But it can also be true of parents. Husbands and wives do well to be so careful to avoid taking one another for granted, yet it is a common hazard in marriage. Getting used to someone and living so close to someone for so long can lead you to feel that what your spouse does… s/he will always do, s/he should do, and that s/he should be happy to continue doing it. But when “it” is gone – for any reason – we realize how much it (or really the person) meant. And we just thought s/he would always be there, or that things would never change. We took it for granted.

            It is a real gift and discipline – in all of our relationships – to not take people for granted. It is a blessing to them not to depersonalize them… not to objectify them… but to love, appreciate, and affirm them. Life is short. Our time together really isn’t all that long. Let us not take for granted the persons God has brought us into relationship with, and let us not take for granted one another in the Body of Christ. Jesus said that even a cup of cold water given as His disciple will result in a reward. How much more than that can we observe being done in the day to day life we share together in Christ. Jesus doesn’t take it for granted. So let us to be careful in our love for one another to be like Christ in this way.

Matthew 10:42 (NIV) ⁴²  And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."

PRAYER:  Father, you have generously brought many people into my life. Lead me to appreciate them, and to be thankful to you for them. And lead me to live in gratitude to you for all of the things you have given and all of your blessings. Lead me to be a good steward of all that is yours. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Jesus Christ is Lord!  

Scott