I'M STILL HERE AND HAVE FEELINGS
Growing
old is a part of life that most of us will experience, unless for some unknown
reason we are taken from this earth at an early age or are fortunate enough to
make it old age without any of the things that I will mention. In some ways,
growing older is harder on some than others. Some people don't have a family
that checks in on them for one reason or another. Some families don't always
live near their parents or aging relatives to care for them, should they need
help living alone. Some prefer not to be involved in their lives at all, which
is not easy for some of us to understand. There are many reasons why people and
families don't even check in on other members of family and people that they
know that might need help.
I try to remember that someday I could be in those same
shoes and will need help and encouragement to do certain things. I am certain
that none of us want to have to depend on others. But it does happen… because of
a devastating illness or dementia due to the aging process, or injury, but it
does happen.
How
valuable it would be if everyone who is in a care taking position with family,
a friend, or if you are working in a facility where people need help… would
really take time and look at the situation their loved one is in. Think about
how you would feel if it were someone you loved and you were watching their
life and the changes they are undergoing. Do you really think they would choose
to be doing the things that are out of the ordinary for them? Do you think they
would like wearing soiled clothes, not taking care of their personal needs,
depending on someone else to get them to the stores for groceries, medicines,
or whatever it is that they would need help with? How about when they are
wearing clothes that are too small, especially shoes that must be uncomfortable
on their feet, their hair needs a good shampoo, their teeth or dentures need
cleaning, they are at home but don't have the energy or ability to do a wash
and keep things in order… and the list goes on and on. For those who have to
leave their home and need assistance, the change can be so upsetting to them.
Of course someone doesn't want to leave a place that is familiar to them. No
matter what, this is sometimes necessary to remove them to a safer place. Not
only is this painful to them but to those that are the ones that are involved
in the decision.
Not
always can you assist someone on the first try if they are not feeling right in
their own mind and with that they might be feeling threatened. Have patience
and wait for a while and try a different approach without suggesting too many
things at once. Take one thing at a time and this will at times get them
directed in a different frame of mind. Once you can get them to do the first
thing - it could be as simple as letting you wash their face or giving them a
wash cloth and if they are awkward with it - suggest that you give them a hand.
From there you could suggest the next thing, like a clean top to wear. You
might have to wait and go slowly so as not to frighten them and avoid giving
them the idea that they can't do it. After all, you are just giving them a
helping hand. Remember to talk gently to them and maybe distract them with a
conversation that you had been talking about earlier.
Imagine being so lonely for someone to talk to, if only for a
short time. When we aren't in that situation it might be hard to imagine. Take
time to observe the facial expressions of these people that are going through
this. People might not even be aware that they are depressed, but taking time
out to check in on someone might give you a clue and maybe you could help if
the situation came up.
Life passes by so quickly
and everyone gets so busy with their own lives that it is not always easy to
think beyond yourself. Again, I remind you that this could be you or someone
you love. Take time to spend time with family and others, if only a smile and a
"Hello, how are you?". At the same time, mean it as you ask the
question.
Lonesome
and depressed people, sometimes can come across to other people as grumps,
negative people, mean, uncaring about others, etc., when most likely they are
thinking, "Who cares?!" Would you really want to be one of
those people that struggle each day with anxiety issues, confusing thoughts,
dementia, fears of failure so bad that it restricts them from totally
functioning like you and me? The mind works in many different ways and at any
given moment we could be hit with one of these things. Like it or not it could
happen.
I ask that you take time to look around and see how many
people might think that no one cares and they have no one to turn to. It
isn't always their choice when this happens. True, one has control of their
life to a certain degree but there are other reasons why people act like they
do. Not everyone has the control or the ability, like most of us, to take
care of themselves. Remember your families as they are a part of you even
though you might not see them often. Enjoy the times together when there can be
laughs and fun times and along with that also be there if one of us need help
or just a caring word. Support those in the family that might be going through
the caretaking role and those that are the victim. Love one another and
support each other the best you can. It only takes a few words to encourage one
another in a not so easy situation. Be an encouragement to those who reach
out to you as long as you know it is sincere.
Encourage each family member when you can. I'm sure that we
all have times when we are discouraged whether we admit it or not. In times
when the going gets tough let's be there for each other and notice those around
us who are also hurting beyond their control. Love you all!
Ecclesiastes 12:1-7 (NIV) 1 Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the
days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no
pleasure in them"-- 2 before the sun and the light and
the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain; 3 when
the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders
cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim; 4
when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding
fades; when men rise up at the sound of birds, but all their songs grow faint; 5
when men are afraid of heights and of dangers in the streets; when
the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags himself along and desire no
longer is stirred. Then man goes to his eternal home and mourners go about the
streets. 6 Remember him--before the silver cord is severed, or
the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, or
the wheel broken at the well, 7 and the dust returns to the
ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.
PRAYER: Lord, increase our compassion for those in
need, and for those who are experiencing challenges from the aging process. May
we share Christ’s love and grace with them. In His name, AMEN.”
Jesus
Christ is Lord!
Scott
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