Cold Hearted

Matthew 24:12-13 (NIV) ¹²  Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, ¹³  but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.

            Certain foods are best eaten hot, and others cold. For example, cold or lukewarm coffee turns many people off. They like it hot. Chicken soup that is cold is not as appealing as when it is hot, especially on a raw winter day. When we sit down to a meal, Joanne frequently takes her plate to the microwave because her food has cooled off too much for her liking, and thus lost its appeal. Taste is somewhat like beauty. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If so, then taste is on the tongue (in the mouth) of the eater. What appeals to one person does not necessarily appeal to another. Nevertheless, whatever food a person may be desiring and expecting to be hot… will let that person down if it has grown cold.

            I don’t know how to explain why or how love grows cold. The only thing I can think of is that it was defective from the beginning. By defective I mean that in some way it must have missed the mark of what true love is: a totally other-centered act of one’s will which, while often accompanied by good feelings and desire, does not require them. A love grown cold is ultimately an act of a person’s will. It is something chosen. In today’s culture it is experienced in many relationships, but the one that stands out to me is marriage. There will be those reading this check-in who will understand what I mean in a very personal way. They will know what it is like to have the love of someone – or what you thought was the love of someone – grow cold. When the heart of a spouse becomes hard (whether it results in divorce or not) misery often follows. Rejection, insignificance, hurt and pain, failure, confusion, anger, fear, and sorrow are just a few possible reactions toward one whose love for you has grown cold – in any relationship. In these situations the “why” question looms large in the heart and mind of the one no longer loved.

            As I preached from Matthew 24 last week I didn’t have time to say anything about Jesus’ words in verse 12. But it has been on my mind. Jesus tells the disciples that they will experience a time when so-called believers in Jesus who have claimed to be His followers will turn away from the faith (vs.10). Not only will they turn from faith, they will do terrible things to those who remain faithful to Jesus. How could someone who says they love Jesus be so cruel to a person who loves Jesus? Yet Jesus says His disciples should expect this. And then He says the “love of most will grow cold” (v.12). Who are the “most” – Christians or people of the world? And what kind of love? Love for God? Love for followers of Christ? Or love toward people in general? These are all very good questions – the answers to which Jesus does not specify. My impression is that the answer may be “all of the above”. When a person lives without regard to God – in any way – love (of all kinds) wanes and evil waxes. This is hard to watch in the Body of Christ. It can become apparent in many ways: there is no one manifestation of love grown cold. In His day Charles Spurgeon described it this way…

“If the heart grows cold, everything will be coldly done. When love declines, what cold preaching we have! All moonlight light without heat; polished like marble, and as chill. What cold singing we get, - pretty music, made by pipes and wind, but oh, how little soul-song! - how little singing in the Holy Ghost, making melody in the heart unto God ! And what poor praying! Do you call it praying? What little giving! When the heart is cold, the hands can find nothing in the purse; and Christ's Church, and Christ's poor, and the heathen may perish, for we must needs hoard up for ourselves, and live to grow rich. Is there anything that goes on as it ought to go when love waxes cold?”

            To answer that last question: No, it does not. A love grown cold always has symptoms. These symptoms are observable to others, especially if they are the ones who are (or should be) the objects of the love. If a husband or a wife can observe them… if I, as a pastor, can observe them… if brothers and sisters in Christ can observe them… if our friends can observe them… even if I can sense them in myself… then certainly our Lord can (see Revelation 2:4-5).

            What is the state of your heart today… toward God… toward your spouse, if married… toward other family members… toward others in the church… toward unbelievers? Has your love grown cold in any way? Are there clear symptoms in your life observable to particular people in particular relationships?

            What is the “answer” to love grown cold? I only know of one: remembering and repenting. David, whose departure into wickedness with Bathsheba brought much ruination, is a great example to us. His detour into sin had let His heart become cold toward God. He had forgotten who he was. He had forgotten all the Lord had done for him. You can read what he says after being exposed by the prophet Nathan in Psalm 51. A small excerpt is printed below. May the Lord help you and me whenever and however and wherever our love has grown cold – even just “a little”. May we remember who we are in Christ and all that He has done for us. And may we repent, so that the Lord will restore our hearts to burn for Him and for those He has brought us into relationship with. And may He be glorified.

Revelation 2:4-5 (NIV) ⁴  Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. ⁵  Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

Psalm 51:10 (NIV)  Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51:16-17 (NIV) ¹⁶  You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. ¹⁷  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

PRAYER:  Father, as hard as it is for me, please show me where my heart has grown cold – especially toward you. Show me what in my life would be different were my love for you on fire. Expose to me my heart, and grant me grace to remove anything  not burning for you. Lead me to and through repentance so that the zeal of my love for you will return to what it was the first day I knew you and experienced the grace that saves. Show me where my love for others has followed the same path, and kindle within my heart new affections and deeper loves for them. In your mercy hear my prayer. Thank you. In Jesus’ name. AMEN.”

Jesus Christ is Lord!    

Scott

Awkward!

Proverbs 17:22 (KJV)  A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Though I did not watch the television presentation of the Academy Awards, I heard that there was an extremely awkward moment at the end of the program when a movie was announced as winning the year’s Best Picture award. The producers and others representing the film came to the stage to begin receiving their awards when it was announced that the wrong picture had been announced. It turned out that the winners were not really the winners. So… the (real) winners felt awkward. The losers who thought they were winners felt awkward. The producers of the television program felt awkward. And the audience felt awkward.

When I was in college I was responsible for doing a ten minute presentation in a chapel service. With about 1200 students and faculty watching, I had the lights dimmed and the audio recording started. When I went to advance the first slide – this was a literal slide in a tray of photos in a slide projector – nothing happened on the screen. I kept pushing  the button and nothing happened. A spotlight came on… on me… on the stage in the dark auditorium. As I kept pushing I’m sure the red flush on my face kept rising and the hotter I felt. It turned out that after my run through practice the night before no one had returned the slide tray to starting point. So the morning of my presentation it was loading nothing but blanks. What a mess! What a failure the whole thing was. People were very kind, but that event was a ten on the “awkward scale” for me. My experience proved that awkward situations typically move quickly to embarrassment and even shame.

Sarah and I had an awkward experience in the office a few weeks ago. We were taking delivery of a new photocopier/printer for the church office and receiving an orientation on how to use it. Unexpectedly, a representative of the company that serviced our previous copier showed up to pick up some left over supplies. We felt like the company that “lost” our business had received an “in your face” moment that we certainly did not want to give them. We believe we have made a good business decision, but that moment was pretty uncomfortable… and unexpected. But it’s one we could laugh at afterwards. As I can about my college experience.

Hopefully, the response of laughter can be at the end of most of our awkward situations. That will be unlikely if we take ourselves too seriously, however. Our pride can leave us mortified if we think we’ve been made to look bad – whether by someone else or by ourselves. Humor can be a great diffuser. As a pretty serious person, I have had a hard time learning that over my lifetime. At my ordination service one of my seminary professors told me, “Scott, don’t take yourself too seriously.” He knew me pretty well. The more seriously we take ourselves (in a prideful way), the harder it is on us to make a mistake and/or worry about looking bad. I think humble people are able to laugh at themselves without fear of looking bad, and thus they are much happier. The more serious we are, the tougher our experience of awkward moments. Of course, that doesn’t mean I favor inappropriate humor on sober occasions. As Solomon wrote, there is a time for everything, and there are people who use humor almost as a defense or as a way to avoid serious things.

God can redeem awkward moments. He does it often through our apologies and our forgiveness, as well as giving us eyes to see the humor in a situation when it is there. Perhaps He can even use them to aid us in learning humility. If so, even an awkward moment He can use for our good. Yahoo News reported the following story last November. It’s a great example of how something good can come out of an awkward situation…

Dialing the wrong phone number can be awkward, embarrassing, and sometimes downright frustrating. When a young man forgot to notify his grandmother of a change in his cell phone number before Thanksgiving, however, the result was touching. Wanda Dench texted a number that had originally been her grandson's, inviting him over for a Thanksgiving meal. Instead of her grandson, the text went to 17 year-old Jamal Hinton.  The two figured out the mistake quickly, but Hinton asked if it was possible to "still get a plate." In grandmotherly fashion, Dench responded, "Of course you can. That's what grandmas do." The story went viral online, perhaps as a hint of joy during such a bitter election season. When asked about the encounter after Thanksgiving, the young man said, "I'm thankful for all the nice people in the world. I never met her … and she welcomed me into her house, so that shows me how great of a person she is."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 (NIV) ¹  There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: ²  a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, ³  a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, ⁴  a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,…

Romans 8:28 (NIV)  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

PRAYER:  Father, bring me to a place where I can find joy in you even in the awkward moments of life. Thank you that they do not keep you from working and, fact, are things through you can work in amazing ways. In Jesus’ name. AMEN.”

Jesus Christ is Lord!    

Scott